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Obama Seeks To Emulate Kennedys
Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:15 PM EST
Presidential candidate Barack Obama, speaking in Florida after his victory in South Carolina, said that he accepts with open arms the endorsement of the murdering, philandering and drunken Kennedy families as reported by patriarch Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy (D, MA).
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Clemens Not Infected With B-12
Seeded on Thu Jan 3, 2008 11:28 PM EST (Reuters)
Roger Clemens today relieved the concerns of many baseball supporters by disclosing on the CBS News program 60 Minutes that he was infected with the B-12 virus and not the much feared steroid virus.
Humans Clone Monkeys
Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:31 PM EST
LOS ANGELES-Raising the ante, scientists at the Oregon Center for Health Sciences reported the first cloning of a monkey. "Look, what those other people are doing is disgusting. Having sex with animals. That's just not right. We have to put an end to this!" said Dr.
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Man Marries Goat
Seeded on Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:17 PM EST (Telegraph)
NEW DELHI - Not to be outdone, a Sudanese man, Charles Tombe, has married a goat. Tombe was forced to marry Rose, a goat, by its owner in a 'shot gun wedding ceremony' after he was found copulating with the animal.
Man Marries Female Dog
Wed Nov 14, 2007 11:23 PM EST
NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.
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FDA Warns About Using High Dose Marijuana (Marelax) For Republicans
Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:29 PM EDT
Responding to reports of overdose and long term changes in thinking, the Food and Drug Administration warned doctors about over prescribing Marelax. Marelax is the trademarked name for marijuana USP produced by Oaxaca Imports USA.
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New Therapy for Overcoming Hope
Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:46 PM EDT
It is nearly impossible to escape these days but hope springs eternal. Recognizing and overcoming this malady has become a practical matter for many suffers.
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Bush Orders Turks Into Iran
Wed Oct 24, 2007 7:52 PM EDT
President George Bush today ordered Turkish troops gathered on the border to move into Iran. Turkish troops began moving at 6AM EST and were reportedly already within sight of Tehran as there was little opposition.
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Scientists Near Solving "Tommy Boy" Syndrome
Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:18 PM EDT
Scientist at three prestigious institutions independently reported today in the journal Science that they have nearly solved the mystery of the "Tommy Boy" syndrome.
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God Moves Hell to California
Mon Oct 22, 2007 6:00 PM EDT
Californian, long the butt of jokes about alternative life styles but the target of envy by many, has a new problem to contend with. God has moved Hell to a new permanent place in Southern California.
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Church to Eliminate Purgatory
Fri Oct 19, 2007 2:03 PM EDT
Speaking on behalf of the pontiff, Cardinal Roger Mulrooney (C, IL) announced that the Catholic Church will eliminate purgatory in 2009. "This may come a shock to many so we needed to give them a little bit of time to get their affairs in order."
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Coulter Half Done With Jews
Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:01 PM EDT
Anne Coulter, speaking on a repeat interview with Donny Deutsch on CNBC, announced that she was half done with the Jews. Coulter said that she was able to line up enough non-Jewish plastic surgeons to perform the first step in the transformation, a rhinoplasty.
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Man Dies
Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:35 PM EDT
Authorities in DeKalb County Georgia reported today that Franklin C. Bush was found dead in his home at dawn after a caretaker noticed that he had not retrieved the morning paper and called the police. Police said that there was no evidence of foul play.
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Cheney and Obama are distant cousins: Mrs. Cheney
Seeded on Tue Oct 16, 2007 7:30 PM EDT (Reuters)
Who'd a thunk it? A white and a mixed breed are related. Eighth cousins. This is ridiculous! Don't they know that everyone is only 6 (six) steps away from Kevin Bacon?
Absurdistan to Allow Kurds
Mon Oct 15, 2007 9:33 AM EDT
A high ranking government official confirmed today plans of the Absurdistan government to allow asylum to Kurds displaced from Iraq after recent Turkish maneuvers.
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Gore Steals Prize
Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:39 PM EDT
Albert Gore, Jr. broke into the Swedish Academy of Sciences and stole the Nobel Prize for peace from a locked cabinet in the Royal Hall in Stockholm.
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Coulter to Perfect Jews
Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:16 PM EDT
Long a critic of the left wing media and non-Christians in particular, Ann Heche-Coulter announced on the Donny Deutsch show that she will undertake the task of "perfecting" Jews.
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FDA Approves Marijuana (Marelax)
Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:28 PM EDT
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the popular street drug Marijuana (also known as pot, Mary Jane and others) for the treatment of excessive ambition syndrome.
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So far, it would appear that Ralph Williams has a sense of humor to rival - dare I say it? - Cash.
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Ralph Williams
Member Since: 10/2007Last Seen: 2/16/2008
Ralph Williams was born in Encino, CA in 1954 to two devout practitioners of the rhythm method of birth control.
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Latest Comments
Obama Seeks To Emulate Kennedys
Clemens Not Infected With B-12
Humans Clone Monkeys
Man Marries Goat
Man Marries Female Dog
FDA Warns About Using High Dose Marijuana (Marelax) For Republicans
FDA Warns About Using High Dose Marijuana (Marelax) For Republicans
New Therapy for Overcoming Hope
Bush Orders Turks Into Iran